The differences between my husband and myself were the basis for many fights. My husband liked everything in its place while I never even notice when things are a mess. He was very outgoing, able to recall people’s names easily. In contrast, I am almost a recluse and can’t even remember the faces of people I’ve met.
One day, following weeks of tension and fighting triggered by these differences, we began to make a study of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. We recognized our own particular spiritual gifts, and they were totally opposite from each other. This led us to recognize other differences, acknowledge those differences by name, learn to accept them in each other, and then grow to appreciate them for the balance they gave to our marriage relationship. I cannot adequately convey the blessing this was, the peace that resulted, and the love that increased between us simply because after years of doing it “my way,” we finally followed the Creator’s wise directions for diversity in our marriage.
One of God’s principles for marriage is that those who have established a right relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ are not to marry those who are not in a right relationship with God. The reason for this principle was explained logically by Amos when he said, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3, NIV) For someone who has real faith in God to marry, or “walk with,” another person who is in rebellion against God would mean a lifetime of compromise on everything from how to spend time and money, to setting priorities and standards. If there is no basic agreement on an issue as significant as a person’s relationship with God, then there can be no agreement on lesser issues, and a compromise would have to be made to preserve the marriage. That compromise would inevitably lead to neglect of God’s Word.
So . . . make your marriage a triangle, with Jesus Christ at the apex. As you and your spouse grow closer to God you will grow closer together.
Some people may consider the intimate side of marriage as somehow being “unspiritual.” But if you stop to think about it, the first person who ever had a sexual thought was God. In a perfect world, at the beginning, love expressed in marriage in a mutually respectful sexual relationship was God’s idea. It was designed as pure, holy, and pleasing to Him.
Dr. Ed Wheat, a prominent marriage counselor, has pointed out that if the physical side of marriage deteriorates, every other aspect of marriage will soon be affected (Love Life for Every Married Couple)[1]. When God commanded Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and increase in number” (Gen. 1:28, NIV), He seemed to be saying, “Make sex a priority in your marriage,” not only for the procreation of the race but also in order to maintain the healthy, intimate, physical unity with each other for which we were created.
Blessings,
[1]Love Life for Every Married Couple, Ed Wheat, M.D., Zondervan Publishing, 1980.
God created them male and female. The primary reason for woman’s creation was not to produce children or provide sexual satisfaction or to keep the home but for the mutual happiness of man and woman. Like the Father of the bride, God Himself brought Eve to Adam.
There is not only an equality but a diversity between men and women. Eve was as different from Adam as Adam was different from Eve. But the differences were complementary. Because of the emotional and physical differences, Eve would supply what Adam lacked, and Adam would supply what Eve lacked. Eve would complete Adam as a “helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18, NIV). The same Hebrew word used for “helper” in this instance is used again in Psalm 46:1 when it describes God Himself as being “our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Rather than implying that Eve was somehow less because she was a helper, this term describes her godly characteristic of support for Adam.
