June 24, 2013
O Lord, You have searched me
and You know me. Psalm 139:1
My father is hard of hearing, so I’m never sure I’m actually communicating with him when I call him on the telephone. Because my life is now somewhat restricted by the need to stay in close proximity to my husband, I have not been able to get away and see my father as frequently as I have tried to since Mother went to Heaven. It’s in those sweet face-to-face encounters that I get a sense of how much he understands of what I say. To overcome this limitation, I recently wrote a letter to him, explaining my situation, but I’m still not sure if he really knows…
I wanted him to understand that for the past few weeks I have been swamped with the details of life. Managing my husband’s medications and doctor’s appointments; overseeing household responsibilities; giving direction to the ministry staff; enjoying interacting more with the family during summer’s relaxed free time; writing Bible studies, answering email, returning phone calls; plus breaking in a new puppy! These are just some of the items on my list that have kept me from being able to carve out the day or two necessary to make the 7 hour round trip drive to see him as much as I would like. On top of everything else is the fact that I finally reached retirement age!
While I know my Daddy knows how old I am…he sent me a dozen red roses and six pounds of my favorite coffee beans to mark the occasion…there is a part of me that just wants him to understand what’s going on in my life. I want my father to know…
Because while I smile at the absurdity of retiring, I will admit that I have struggled with juggling all of the above. Which is why my heart was warmly stirred when the dear Holy Spirit whispered to me, once from Matthew 6:8, as He encouraged me not to worry, because your Father knows what you need… Then again, later when He repeated Himself in Matthew 6:32… your heavenly Father knows that you need [these things]…
I could feel the tension releasing, as though my own spirit had taken a deep breath and let it out slowly. My heavenly Father knows! He knows! Every feeling of frustration, every pinpoint of pain, every weight of worry, every flicker of fear… He knows. And He promises that He will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) It’s okay if my Daddy doesn’t know because my Father does!
So if sometimes, like me, you long for a father who understands and knows your thoughts and your feelings and your needs, be encouraged. You have one. You, too, have a heavenly Father who knows…
